After a very rough morning..........

Monday, April 20, 2009

I seem to have reached some stability tonight. Thank the nonobject.

Today I'm actually grateful for the stupid rain. I can feel how the plants are just absorbing the water. The lone tulip will blow open again tomorrow afternoon and be waiting for me when I come home.

Somehow tonight I feel like I'm in my solitary boat in the ocean, seeing the shore from a great distance. I'm not a sea creature -- I belong on land. I need to walk the streets of cities, and up the paths of woods. I can sit quite happily on the beach and wave to them out on boats. There's a sense of bobbing up and down, not comfortable, but obscurely something I need to learn. I'm out here for a reason (there's always a reason). Perhaps I need to learn to read the seaweed? or the waveforms? Or commune with the stars -- second-best place to see them, on the ocean at night: utter best, to me, is in the mountains. UP as high as possible.

Yes, now here is peace for me: the stars at night.

1 comments:

jodi (bloomingwriter) said...

We all come from the sea originally, Duffi. You may be an earth creature, but we all have sea water in our shared histories. Tonight, I'm listening to the surf hurling itself onto the beach, the foghorn calling a warning to all the ships at sea, the wind whispering through the evergreens. These things calm my soul, ironic because a weather tantrum can gentle down my internal tantrums. We're all different. If you spent as much time by the sea as I do, you'd probably feel it differently.