Happy Passover!

In honor of this family, which DH and DD celebrate (I come along for the ride and the CHOCOLATE COVERED MATZOH for dessert -- oh *sigh*), there will be only these few words from me today.

Eat, celebrate freedom, sing. Get plastered on good red wine. Enjoy!!

love, Duffi

Day 5...the Empowering Haircut

What, hair? Oh, yes. For David Cook fans, there is The Haircut Heard 'Round the World. Changed his life, that's for sure. Remember, all you older readers, when Jon Bon Jovi cut his hair? We felt betrayed! But now, eh, guy looks good.

For women, the issue is more complicated. Will "he" (or "she") like my hair? Too long? Too short? Too butch? Too femme? Aw, hell, I'll just shave it. Simpler anyway. For me, a shaved head would put me right in the monastic caste, and no thank you ma'am, been there, done that. Or tried to.

So, DH loved my hair long. So long past reason, I kept it that way. Until one day a few weeks ago, I was just sick of it. Looked terrible, half grey, half bottle blonde. (All honor to bottle blondes of all sexes and descriptions. Blonde is my favorite me.) So I wandered into an Aveda and found myself in the hands of a genius: Robin, who's family, to whom I revealed some secrets I hadn't spoken in years, and who, when she saw I wasn't happy with what she'd done -- a reverse bob, short in the back and long in front, had that one before, a good if dull cut -- became very very quiet, and...kept cutting. And cutting.......

Now it's very short in the back and I have bangs. Lots of texture everywhere. My hair, always fine and thin, feels thick and full. This haircut makes me feel tall and thin. Powerful. Attractive. And if I fix it up differently, I can go from Chevy Chase matron, to ... motorcycle darlin'. A fierce haircut for a fierce time of life. I totally, totally love it.

As does DH. So it worked out. Change can be very, very good.

Resting in the Field

A small meditation:


Rest on your back on a comfortable surface. Let your knees and neck be well supported; your legs uncrossed, your arms resting comfortable at your sides. Close your eyes and begin to breathe, slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your breath find it's own rhythm.

When you feel ready, imagine that the bed underneath you is moving, very subtly and gently, in a slow wave-like motion, from your head to your feet. Find the slow rhythm in this movement, and rest there. Continue to breathe. Allow your muscles and your bones to sink into this slow, subtle, gentle movement.

If you like, you can fall asleep. If not, when you feel complete -- and this can take as long as you like -- allow the movement to die down and the bed to feel stable again. Pull your arms in towards your torso. Wiggle your toes and your fingers. Slowly, slowly open your eyes.

When you decide to sit up, roll over onto your side first, and rest there for a moment; then sit up, using your arms -- not your back -- to move you to an upright position.

Day 3.............The Field;

the Force; God/dess; Atman; Allah. Whatever.


I perceive a dynamic, ever-shifting, multidimensional notobject that both surrounds us and is us. The ocean is the closest physical manifestation I can see: always moving, always changing, restless, peaceful sometimes, vast to our tiny human eyes, and always inarguably itself.

This is what I love: that notobject. It's compassionate, it knows I need personality: so I get guides, angels, Large Beings, animals, even fields of stars. I feel unutterably, immensely safe when I am aware of It/Them. Not the kind of denial-fueled safe that whispers in my ear that nothing "bad" will ever happen to me; but the kind of safe that's rhythmic, nuanced: I can handle what happens -- death, divorce, the ripping-apart of the environment -- because I'm in touch with the deepest, highest, most Elemental of elemental forces.

Music is better for this than language. I don't make music, I have words. So I cast Indra's Net into the ocean of English, and bring up a few sparkling fish.


May these fish feed you, too.

Death: an approach........

........like running, screaming, in the other direction?

No, seriously.

I have the sense that it's harder for those of us left behind than those of us in the process itself. I've been around a number of deaths, and like other things that I knew nothing about, the process was much less scary than I thought it was. It's a natural process, like a plant growing, or the kitchen scraps decomposing into the compost. Part of the Great Cycle (as the Buddhists call it).

It's my perception that we individual souls continue, that we are reborn again and again. I'm still fumbling through the details, but it feels really clear that I've known some people "before," and some of those people and I have been following each other around for many many lifetimes.

In modern American culture, we still try to segregate death into hospitals and nursing homes (though this is changing, thank goodness). We isolate what we're afraid of.

Disjointed thoughts, since the bronchitis has staked its claim on my lungs and I'm now starting the work of uprooting it before it becomes a long-term guest. Muddled metaphors tonight.

Be well, my dears, and tomorrow is Day 3.

37 days

thanks to midlifeclarity.blogspot.com for this.

I'm following the 37 days protocol and posting daily for that period of time. Given all the death around me, and how I've both entered in and avoided it, it feels like a useful and supportive discipline. I'm marking it into my We'Moon calendar when I sign off.

Here's the rationale:

http://37days.typepad.com/37days/2005/01/why_37_days.html

Now, as for me: sick again, though the herbal concoction that I'm taking is blasting away at it. Going to see Watchmen this afternoon: very very excited. Happy to have a day off, to sleep, to rest (different things, those), to play.

I love the quiet. No computer games in the background, no music, just the drip of rain and the birds. Oh, does my soul need this. I know I "need" to do more spiritual work this weekend, but right now it's about the quiet, the movie, dinner out, and more quiet.

This isn't dull (she said defensively), it's nurturing for me.


Be well, my dears, and I'll post again tomorrow. What a concept.

Breathe....................

Here’s one method, and 2 variations, to use to help you lower your stress level. Make this part of your daily practice: in traffic, waiting on the phone, during the commercials. Then it’ll be one of the tools you can use during challenging times.

Sit straight up, feet flat on the floor, hands comfortably in your lap (but not folded). Breathe in through your nose, with your mouth closed, for a slow count of 4. Breathe out, through your mouth, to a count of five. Rest for a moment, there at the bottom of the breath, and begin again.

For pain relief, I’ve found it helpful to breathe in through the mouth, and out through the nose, using the pattern above.

When you need to sleep, and are having trouble, lie down and breathe in and out through your nose; again, using the pattern above.


By allowing yourself to rest in your breathing, you are giving yourself space to expand into the present moment, and taking your mind off of whatever the difficulties of the situation that in which you find yourself. The re-oxygenation of your blood through the breathing is helpful, too.